Get Ready To Hi-Five Your Droid
WHY ROBOTS WILL BE THE BEST WINGMAN YOU EVER HAD
They make the trail of crumbs that your nephew joyfully sprinkled across your carpet disappear in a flash. They are a boon to manufacturing and medicine. They automize. They systemize. Heck, they even drive.
But the most life-altering niche that robots are poised to fill is that of the invaluable wingman. One who takes one for the team by dancing with the fat chick (or husky fella). One whose terrible jokes drop the bar to the point that your decade-old punchline sounds fresh. One who’s always got an endless supply of Altoids or a spare lighter.
Pre-programmed to know precisely what you find most appealing in a partner, your droid has already scanned the bar, weeding out the wackos and serial friend-zoners by the time your IPA has touched your lips. An example of machine learning at its finest, your droid knows the last time you scored and will ratchet up the tactics to get you laid accordingly.
Programmed to set you up for sex -uh -success, you’ll be given first names of potential matches (intermittently flashing across the robot’s screen), pet status and, most importantly, red flags to avoid in conversation. You think your Sean Connery accent is on point? She likes her White Claw stirred, not shaken. Disaster averted.
